woadtowuin Sir Apropos of Nothing Book Two

Peter David
Pocket Books/Simon & Schuster, Inc.
August 2002; July 2003 reissue
Genre: Fantasy
Format: Hard/Soft

Approximately a year has passed since the events of the previous book. After running a few scams here and there, Apropos wins ownership of a rundown, but profitable, tavern where he has been quietly running the place and keeping a very low profile. Sharee the weaver, feeling bored and constricted over the choices that Apropos has made with his life, has gone off on her own some six months previous. He thinks of her every so often, but otherwise is somewhat content with his present lot in life.

One evening a Mysterious Individual shows up at the tavern. He proceeds to drink a ton of booze, and then is unable to pay his bar tab. When Apropos expresses his displeasure, the Individual identifies himself as a visionary. "You know how people always say, ‘It is written that so and so will occur'? Well, I'm the one who writes it. If you forgive me my bar tab, I will tell you everything you wish to know about yourself."

"Vague prophecies that tell you nothing until it's too late. No thank you," says Apropos.

"Not vague at all!" says the Individual, hauling out a huge, leather bound book. He flips through it, pinpoints a place, and says, "Here. Right here. It says Sharee the weaver will return to you, pursued by men who want to kill her. You will allow her to take refuge in your cellar. Armed men will then attack and burn down your tavern, but you and she will escape through previously unknown catacombs. You will become a mere shadow of your former self while escaping to the Tragic Wastes on the Road to Ruin..." He frowns. "Or is that Woad to Wuin? My Rs look like Ws sometimes..."

"This is all absurd!" says Apropos. "And I refuse to listen to any more of this!"

"You're in luck," says the Individual sadly. "You won't have to."

"What, that aspect of my fate is written in there as well?"

"No. My fate."

And suddenly an arrow crashes through the window, impaling the Mysterious Individual. He topples forward, dropping the book onto the fire. A stunned Apropos has only the briefest glance at an illustration in the book which shows the Mysterious Individual lying draped across the table, an arrow in him, and then the book goes up in flames.

And thus begins another hilarious romp featuring Sir Apropos of Nothing, from acclaimed fantasy writer, Peter David.

[Starred Review!] "This sequel to the wildly successful SIR APROPOS OF NOTHING starts off with a bawdy sendup of LORD OF THE RINGS, but quickly segues into its own territory....  The wisecracking wordplay that fans have come to expect skips smoothly off the page, lifting this satirical fantasy into a class all its own.  Juggling goofy entertainment with gritty philosophical musing, David should build plenty of momentum for the promised third act, TONG LASHING."—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY (July 15, 2002)

"David mixes ghastliness and giggles deftly and with the near absence of lapsed taste that continues to distinguish the saga as a major feat of contemporary humorous fantasy."—BOOKLIST

"In between large doses of bawdy humor and outrageous puns, the author spins an engaging tale of high fantasy featuring an appealing hero."—LIBRARY JOURNAL

British Rights: Pocket Books/Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Translation Rights: Pocket Books/Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Audio Rights: The Zack Company, Inc.
Film & TV Rights: The Zack Company, Inc.
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